Thursday, January 19, 2006

The Adorable Forgetful

This is an entry I wrote back when I started the Chronicles. I’ve re-written it here a a follow up to my previous post.

There are two types of demented elderly (of course there are many types of dementia, but for the sake of argument, let’s keep this simple). There is the angry demented and then there’s the pleasant kind. The angry demented upset everyone. Family never visits, no one calls, the home health aids are constantly changing.

The other is always smiling, even during codes, even during their own code. I love them. It's a blessing to be happily forgetful, constantly. They don't even know how much they don't know or how slow they've become or how incontinant. We love them because they make us feel like we're helping, even when we're not.

The truth is that I've resigned myself to a future of Alzheimer's. My memory is horribly bad and if I don't get it then we can junk the whole disease-progression theory.

I just hope to be Pleasantly Demented.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Today I was clearing up the breakfast dishes, and decided mid-way to have another cup of coffee. From the living room I could hear a commercial announcer asking if I am experiencing certain symptoms that may signal the onset of Alzheimers - they've got a drug for me.
Woo, I don't want that, I thought.
Let me put some sugar in my coffee. Only to see that I had just poured the cream into the sugar bowl. Oh, dear.

9:26 AM  
Blogger Don said...

Great post. I've had one parent in each camp, and the great temptation was to love the Pleasantly Demented one more. I resisted that temptation by remembering that the Angry Demented parent changed 99% of my diapers and met all my childhood needs, found the doctor who (correctly!) identified and treated my life-threatening childhood illness, and did the zillion other things that I now know mothers do without any thanks.

I hope I rendered some small repayment for her love, as I cared for her during her Angry Demented phase of life.

7:57 AM  
Blogger Judy said...


I have had one of each. My mother was pleasantly forgetful (as each medical error put her closer to her grave-read my blog for my rants and her older sister, now that my mother is deceased is just not going to enjoy life anymore. She won't do holidays, dinners etc and constantly obsesses over the smallest detail. I'll vote with you on the pleasantly forgetful, althought I'll not neglect my Aunt (who I swear is enjoying her unhappiness!)


12:11 PM  
Anonymous Health Blog said...

There is the angry demented and
then there’s the pleasant kind.

2:04 AM  
Anonymous Barrie said...

For my part everyone ought to glance at it.
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5:46 PM  

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